‘No them, no us’ – punishment, why its wrong and how Mindfullness Techniques can help us remove it from our organisations and lives.

One of the things I’ve learnt in Business in Sydney, and studying Mindfulness Techniques in Clinical Psychology which I study at The Australian College of Psychology is – ‘it doesn’t pay to be punitive’.

We have taken punishment (it is genuinely joyous to deliver it, less so to receive it) and have made a hobby of it. Through the process, highlighting our most fundamental flaw as humans – “to keep repeating behaviours without assessing whether they are having the desired impact or not.”

When we punish people, we put distance between them and us

One might even say, we create the ‘them’ and’ us.’ The blue eyes brown eyes syndrome which is not good for business or for harmony.

One of Australia’s amazing brands is St Vincent De Paul. St Vincent De Paul runs the Mathew Talbot House. A place that gives refuge to those who have none. While they teach (and live) the values of Roman Catholicism which are modest, simple and peaceful, they have some wonderful lines in their culture.

“No them, no us” is a line driven by Mindfulness Techniques that helps us understand homelessness in Australia and consider undertaking an activity to alleviate it

‘No them, no us’ is a key element of the Corporate Culture of St Vincent De Paul’s Matthew Talbot Hostel. The line is proudly emblazoned on their walls and staff are constantly reminded about its importance in maintaining an atmosphere of civility and respect wit clientele – who can often be tough to work with.

Lines like these are worth their weight on gold. They raise the morale of homeless people – all of whom, quite honestly. have been shat on all their lives. Bullied relentlessly. Since early childhood.

But they are also important because they guide the behaviour of staff towards a people at a vulnerable point in their lives.

It’s very easy to see Homeless People in Australia as less

And treat them as so, as well. D’souza cautions his readers NEVER to make this mistake Psychophysics (a fully observable phenomenon), he is CLEAR introduces us to a simple reality – “a series of Physics Principles matches our thoughts and actions to our reality, revealing a principle called TRANSFERENCE”.

“A negative attitude toward a negative situation appears to bring it closer to us, positive (embracing) attitude toward a negative situation (alleviating, say poverty or hunger) appears t o drive it further from us. The impact can take between 5-7 years before it becomes big enough to spot and warrant attention”.

It is pointless to be arrogant (in thought, mind or speech) in Business in Sydney, it is also dangerous to be

Arrogance – the idea we are better or smarter or rich and therefore, won’t or can’t get caught – make us do things we normally wouldn’t.

If we read the Bible story of Naaman, the Syrian Captain who had leprosy, who was cured by the Prophet Elijah, we note his leprosy (also a semiotic for ‘not welcome’) transferred to Elijah’s servant who claimed money, gold, silver and credit that were not his right to claim.

The story explains TRANSFERENCE. If we take what is not ours, we will lose it, anyway.

Psychology teaches a theory called Just Cause hypothesis

Just Cause Hypothesis points out what we all too often believe – that “others deserve their circumstances but we do not” – even when their circumstances are identical to ours.

The theory points out how positively prejudiced we are to ourselves, but how negatively prejudiced we are towards others selves who we do not see to be connected to our own view of self and what it should be or look like.

By placing ourselves on pedestals, we blind ourselves to them. We don’t notice when the Earth Moves Under Our Feet and when its time to pay for our decision to harbour an attitude with little to no compassion within it.

Somehow we are great at making excuses for ourselves but terrible at cutting others slack – something Mindfullness Techniques help fix

In research I’ve done for companies, and for pet projects (poverty, substance abuse), in 100% of situations, I’ve found, using the story method of research – it is not productive to blame people for their past.

When we listen to their stories, if they are kind enough to narrate them to us, we will always find hardship, violence and grave injustice paid to these people through the form of sustained bullying. In childhood or adulthood.

Treating the tendency to punish – is Mindfulness the answer?

It appears to be. Mindfulness Techniques, when properly practised, forces us to scrutinise our behaviours and sit with them so they may speak to us of their motivations and triggers.

All to often, we miscue behaviours- being harsh on others behaviours but lenient on our own.

In these two conflicting mindstates of ‘harshness’ and ‘leniency’, we forget where our power lies – not in our decision to judge behaviour (our own or that of others) but to improve it. In an era stung by COVID-19 and a massive bill for mental health issues like depression, bipolarity, adhd and autism – it may be that we have forgotten where our power to treat these conditions comes from- INSIDE. From a decision to improve our behaviour rather than judge it. As we improve ourselves, we improve, it appears, the behaviour of those, around us, too. Change starts with me- not my neighbour!

For a better understanding of the psychological factors that drive behaviour and / or cause resistance t changing it in your organisation, please contact me today. Patrick Dsouza , owner Dsouza Consulting, also student in Clinical Psychology at the Australian College of Psychology, NAVITAS 0405 545 725. Patrick@dsouzaconsulting.com.au